Christine: I wanna show these boys I'm a team player! Not by going up on the block though. Just by stabbing nicole in the back.

So I’m at Sears with my mom while she buys a couch and she’s buying the display one since it’s the last in stock and she was like “well you’ll move it right? I don’t want some kid to come in and pee on it after I buy it” and the guy was like “yeah we will. that would be terrible though why would you think of that out of anything? *laughs*”

Little does he know like 19 years ago in the same exact store I peed on a sofa while my parents were shopping and we had to run away before they found out. Oh how times have changed.

astronaute:

rip to all the shitty humour blogs that got terminated 

spongyspice:

when tumblr user pizza got her blog deleted.

image

when she came back

image

eight, eleven, forty-three, sixty-two.
Anonymous

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

 Uhhh no. Being drunk is fun. If a girl or a guy is super drunk to the point that they are mean or literally disgusting in the sense that they like, vomit on you then thats a different story. Being happily wasted though is not at all disgusting.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Two. One of them is my boyfriend though and I’m not sure that he counts since he’s more than just a friend so only one I suppose!

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

One morning in elementary school my mom drove me to school. I was like, as in love as a 4th grader can possibly be with a boy so it was pretty serious. Well, we got there early so my mom said I could lean the seat back and sleep in the car so obviously I did. Well then all of a sudden my mom goes “LINDSAY ITS ________” and I shoot up in my seat and he’s standing outside with his dad waving so I started screaming and I ducked down because my mom hadn’t brushed my hair yet (it was super long and like, Hermione Granger in the first movie crazy). It was his birthday so he was there with a bunch of cupcakes for the class so later on during class he comes up to me with a cupcake and was like “What was wrong with your hair this morning?”

I was so mortified even as a 4th grader so my mom let me take the next day off and we went to get my hair cut. Ugh.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Usually a big t shirt and shorts, sometimes no pants, sometimes a sports bra and shorts. 

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF
1. How many bruises on you right now?
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
3. Have you stayed in a hospital?
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
6. What are you excited for?
7. What happened tonight?
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
9. Is confidence cute?
10. What is the last beverage you had?
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
18. The last time you felt broken?
19. Have you had a soft drink today?
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
21. Are you in a good mood?
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
24. What do you want right this second?
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks water?
34. Listening to?
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
38. Who did you last call?
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
44. Do you tan?
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
47. Who was the last person to call you?
48. Do you sing in the shower?
49. Do you dance in the car?
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53. Is Christmas stressful?
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59. Take a vitamin daily?
60. Wear slippers?
61. Wear a bath robe?
62. What do you wear to bed?
63. First concert?
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65. Nike or Adidas?
66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
69. Ever take dance lessons?
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
71. Can you curl your tongue?
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
74. What is your favorite book?
75. Do you study better with or without music?
76. Regularly burn incense?
77. Ever been in love?
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
81. Tea or coffee?
82. Favorite type of cookie?
83. Can you swim well?
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85. Are you patient?
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
87. Ever won a contest?
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
89. Which are better black or green olives?
90. Opinions on marriage?
91. Best room for a fireplace?
92. Do you want to get married?
*groans*

scrlett:

no offense but my favorite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful 

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs


Take a look at this. That right there is the mail. Now, let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay. Pepe Silvia- this name keeps coming up over and over again. Everyday, Pepe’s mail keeps getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia- Pepe Silvia. I look in the mail, this whole box is PEPE SILVIA! So I say to my…self, I’ve gotta find this guy. I’ve gotta go up to his office. I’ve gotta put the mail in his goddamn hands otherwise he’s never gonna get it. It’s gonna keep coming back down here. So, I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out Mac? What do I find out? There is no Pepe Silvia! The man does not exist, okay. So, I decide, ohh shit buddy, I’ve got to dig a little deeper. There’s no PEPE SILVIA! You’ve got to be kidding me, I’ve got boxes full of Pepe! Alright, so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say “CAROLL CARRROLLLLLL!! I’ve gotta talk to you about Pepe!” And when I open the door, what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

leporidaepunk:

actual horoscope

  • aquarius: nice bones. love those bones
  • pisces: wow. these bones look lovely
  • aries: check out the bones on this guy
  • taurus: these bones are sick. these bones are unreal
  • gemini: double the bones half the price!!?
  • cancer: hey whoa bones over here
  • leo: b
  • virgo: o
  • libra: n
  • i legitimately almost typed vriska instead of scorpio. this text post is fucking over.