You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train
are you ok?
I did it. I walked a mile in your shoes. They have terrible arch support. This was the worst experiment ever.
fucking typical that the kind of woman who drops her pen on the train is also the kind thats insanely rude when i pick it up for her with my dextrous toe shoes
It’s 6 am I want a turkey sandwich with lettuce why am I not rich enough to have a turkey sandwich whenever I want.
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police